To my good son Seamus, (with apologies to Kurt Vonnegut),
Be polite. Always remember the seven cornerstones of polite society; yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am, please, thank you and excuse me. Always open doors for the ladies. It never hurts to be polite, but forgetting can get you shanked with a sharpened pudding spoon.
Early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Ok, I stole that. Remember to give credit when you use someone else's ideas, especially if it's for academic credit.
Party hard, but study harder. Don't do drugs, but if you must, bring me some too.
Always, always always get your work done first, then take time off. You never know what's going to happen. Don't wait until Thursday night to write papers due on Friday. Especially letters to your son.
If you have pets, take care of them first. Make sure they're fed and watered, even before you feed yourself. Remember, they depend on you.
Oh, and the same goes for kids.
Don't lie, don't cheat, don't steal. Don't just believe anything anyone tells you. Remember what House says: Everyone lies.
Hard work is good for you. Try to do hard work as often as you can; it'll make you tired, keep you in shape, and you'll sleep better.
Take care of your knees. You'll miss them when you're old. I know I do.
Stop playing so many video games. They'll rot your brain. They *have* rotted your brain.
Pay attention in class. Pay attention all the time, actually. You can always learn something.
Polonius said "neither a borrower nor lender be". That's kinda true. Student loans are OK, provided you get good grades, and graduate with a useful degree. Be charitable. Never lend people money; if someone really, truly needs the money, and you can spare it, then give it to them. If you want to pretend it's a loan, and they want to pay you back, that's fine, but never expect repayment. Read First Corinthians 13; understand it, learn it, and live it. Just because there's no "god" doesn't mean the Bible is completely wrong. Seriously.
